Who doesn’t love 50 Cent? His appeal seems to be universal. His music transcended genres, he has made a fortune as a business man, and even earned respect as an actor. And talk about street cred, this guy has taken bullets, and somehow stomachs doing the nasty with Chelsea Handler. We have all seen the bullet wounds on his back, and at the time he was no doubt wearing some very hip and urban clothing. But maybe 50 should have been dressing a bit more preppy. Introducing the Bullet-Proof Polo Shirt.
This stylish new polo shirt comes in black, and the traditional and patriotic colors red, white and blue. The shirt was designed by Miguel Caballero, who has designed fashionable, yet security conscious clothing for the likes of King Abdullah of Jordan, President Hugo Chavez, President Alvaro Uribe of Colombia, Prince Felipe of Spain and Steven Seagal. I’ll let you decide who doesn’t really belong on that list of V.I.P.’s. For the record, I don’t like his movies either, but do we really need to shoot the guy?
Along with the variety of colors, the shirt comes in different levels of protection, depending on much you have pissed people off. If you just cut someone off in traffic, you have Option IIA that will stop your standard 9mm /40 Smith and Wesson FMJ. If you are someone who puts the dic in dictator, you may want to move up to Option II, which will protect you from the 9mm and 40 Smith, plus a mini Uzi. But if you are an aging B-movie star who dresses like a Thai lady boy, and now has a reality TV show, you may want to move up to Option III, which will protect you against a full size Uzi.
Somehow this thing is listed as being made of 100% cotton, which gives me a whole new respect for the material. I have seen mention online that the shirt has a price of $12k, but I found it here for under $3,500. And on the up side, you can get two for only $7k, so you’re safe when one’s at the cleaners.
Sure the shirt a is bit pricey, but I know someone can afford it easily… 50 Cent. I hope this helps 50, I want you to live a long time. I don’t know what any one can do to help you out with this Chelsea Handler thing, just a run for it man.