Trump Ocean Club in Panama

Trump’s Panamanian Erection

Trump is known for many things; multiple hot wives, marrying a Victoria Secret model less than half his age, disturbing hair, crappy reality television, bogus threats of Presidential runs, whoring his name out to anything that can be painted gold, etc…  But the one thing most people in major cities think of when they hear the name Trump… a giant erection.  

Most Panamanian’s have gone their entire life without setting their eyes on a Trump erection, but no longer.  Donald Trump (I refuse to call him The Donald, because that is how I refer to Donald Duck) is proud to open The Trump Ocean Club, a $430 million resort designed by Colombian architecture firm Arias Serna Saravia, which is the most lovely sounding architecture firm name I have heard.

The Trump Ocean Club features include a 900-square-meter terrace with an oceanfront pool, a casino, a marina (for parking your canoe), 47 suites, 37 elevators (which seems excessive), personal butler service, a spa and convention center.

Oh, and one more small item… it has it’s own island with a private beach.

Believe it or not, this represents the first Trump project outside the United States.  It will be joined by new projects (erections) in Toronto next year.

The building itself is quite beautiful.  It’s a sail-like design that looks more like something you would see in Dubai, where every building looks like this.

The fact that over a thousand people work at the Trump Ocean Club is a great boon for the Panamanian economy, which having the three tallest building in Latin America, is already being called the mini-Dubai.

I have the unfortunate experience of having to see the Trump tower in Las Vegas often, and the thing is just flat out hideous and uninspired.  I can’t wait for Trump’s friend Phil Ruffin, and his beautiful wife Oleksandra to build something in front of it.

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